Vet Judy

I was thinking today about notable people and realized that we often think of notable people as being those that are far removed from us, that do fantastic, amazing or big sacrificial things. We are very mistaken if we think that notable people are only those people doing things in worlds far from us or for people far from us.

If you have ever grieved for someone then you have known someone notable. We should all be grateful for having individuals in our circle for whom we feel the need to grieve. This means they impacted our life in a profound and sacred manner and that is all anyone wants out of life, is to make a difference, to leave a mark of  some kind , to know their life made a difference to someone.

So if you are grieving now, or have spent time in grief consider it an honor to have had the privilege of knowing someone who has changed your life and added to it.

I wrote this eulogy for my aunt Marlene’s funeral and was honored to have been asked to speak on her behalf. I posted it here to remind us all, to give thanks for the notable people in your immediate circle!

The Eulogy:

What struck me when I was asked to give the eulogy is that all of our lives can be broken down into a time line, a series of dates and events. There will have been any number of sunny days and thunderstorms to break the journey which in the end it seems is never enough time.

The deeper truth though, is that one’s life can only be recorded in this way….it can by no means be measured.

Marlene’s life was a 3 Dimensional event and to give it a 2 Dimensional presentation would likely be a gross misrepresentation of the time she spent with us. The deeper story lies below the surface and will go on for generations of time.

I noticed some themes while looking at this time line of events.

 It seems that her life philosophy overlapped with some very famous and notable people.

Robert Frost once said: “I always entertain great hopes.”

I figured this must have summarized a great deal her approach to life. Her history reads like the who’s who of hard work, perseverance and ingenuity starting from when she was a kid.

She was born on October 22, 1938 in a small hospital in Provost to two wonderful people whom we all miss to this day, Roy and Helena Lawrason.

The next 16 years of her life were spent on the farm south of Czar.

Along with older sister Margaret and younger brother Marvin they did the usual and the not so usual farm stuff. It seems that the three of them were budding entrepreneurs at an early age. The story has it that magpie eggs and gopher tails were worth some spare change in those days, so the three of them would spend time together collecting their bounty. Marlene was considered the monkey and was often the one scaling the trees to get the eggs. I wonder if she got proportionate reimbursement for her risk. Somehow I doubt it.

There must have been a different rodent and pest bird control program in those days or the parents were just desperate to get the kids out of the house.

The three of them also had the privilege, or should I say curse, of having some Shetland ponies. The ponies were definitely smarter than the kids. When they went out to herd up the cattle they ponies would wait until the middle of a token field and lay down. Once the kids got off, they would stand back up. As luck would have it, there wasn’t a mound of dirt or a rock or post anywhere is sight, so the long walk to the farm would ensue. I assume only the ponies had smiles on.

Another favorite activity was to ride up to the Scott’s place where there awaited a feast of homemade ice-cream and cookies. This treat wasn’t reserved for any particular time of year as the Scott’s were the proud owners of an ice house. Mrs. Scott must have loved having the kids around, because she would put the gramophone up to its highest volume when they were skating at the pond, in hopes that they could hear the music while they skated. Mom says they couldn’t hear it, but the gesture was appreciated just the same.

The three kids spent a lot of time with Lorraine and Lawrence Beeton and the Lawrason cousins across the road, Fran, Ralph and Donna. Jim and Dave and Dan Hughes spent many days at the house, which they considered their second home. When the kids were young Saturday night was the big treat night and a trip to the movies in Czar. If the eggs were cleaned properly there was even 25 cents in it for them. Again with the entrepreneurs…

I would seem remiss not to mention the proverbial “mile to school, uphill, in the cold with a 40 mile per hour wind” story. School life was variable for Marlene. She and Margaret started out going with Grandma Helena to Birdsveiw teacherage during the week. Marvin and Roy would batch it during this time. I am sure the two of them would stand on the step waiting for the girl’s arrival back, as to this day the two of them would not be considered the world’s greatest cooks or house managers.

After Birdsveiw there was Laconia, which I think is where the infamous walk to school story comes in. Following that it was junior high in Czar and high school in Hughendon. After completion of grade 11 Marlene attended McTavish Business College.

Abraham Maslow once said

“What a man can be, he must be.”

Well, it seems auntie’s life must have been fashioned a bit after another famous master because her educational pursuits didn’t stop there. In her 40’s she decided to finish grade 12 by correspondence. She received her diploma with honors. She then went to night school for 7 years and got a certificate in business administration. After that it was Athabasca long distance education and time spent working on a Bachelor of General Studies-Post Diploma Degree. So if anyone had any lame excuses about how they were too old, too busy, working too hard, no money etc etc… I suspect they didn’t air this litany in front of auntie. I can hear the earful now.

Although this list is pretty impressive, I still observed that even greater accomplishments were notable in her personal life.

George Barnard Shaw once said

No person who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it well, ever loses their self respect.”

In looking at the outcome of her private life, one would have to agree that she could have never lost her self respect. There were some difficult times but when the curtain closed she had managed a successful showing.

Marlene married Leo Brown in 1958 in the United Church in High River. They travelled around to many rodeos in the U.S. and Canada. They called a trailer in Bill and Elvie’s yard home for a few years. They later moved onto Main Street in Czar and then built the home where Marlene continued to live throughout the rest of her life.

Out of that union came three beautiful girls. Reesa was born in 1959, Cara in 1964 and Kelly in 1968.

Now this is where the rubber meets the road. Much of the girl’s childhood was spent with Marlene operating as a single mom, working full time. Marlene lived for the girls and they were very close. It wasn’t always rosy though. The girls remember their mother playing the guilt card very well. Reesa remembers her mom leaving a message on the answering machine only a short time ago, after not having heard from her in a few days. It went like this. Reesa it is your mother….Marlene…..are we fighting?

Needless to say Reesa called home in short order. Reesa also vividly remembers that willow switching while running down the hill to the cabin…caught out late again?

Cara, being the middle child, was the chief cook and bottle washer. She was often considered the peacemaker, then responsible one. If there was ever an alteration between the girls, Marlene would inevitably say “Cara wouldn’t do that”

I think this past summer was a real eye opener for auntie when Cara admitted that she deliberately shone the flashlight on Kelly’s head to incite a bat swarming frenzy during those midnight trips to the outhouse.

Kelly was considered the black sheep; although she tested her mother’s patience she also shared her warped sense of humor and could always get a laugh out of her mom and visa versa. It seems Marge and Marvin have a few stories to tell about the diva Marlene and a few trouble making escapades, most of which they hoped Roy or Helena would not find out about. So maybe Kelly was a little closer to Marlene’s own younger personality that she was willing to admit! Here is an example of just how sly Marlene could be.

Marlene’s niece Stacey was a frequent visitor and things had a tendency to get out of control around the house when Kelly and Stacey got together. Marlene was always trying to show the girls who was really in charge. One of her favorite tricks was to wax the hallway floor into such a state that neither girls would walk on it without falling down. She got a lot of laughs out of that one.

Xmas Eve was always spent at Marlene’s and it was her time to shine. Maybe she could have been considered Czar’s version of Martha Stuart. She would spend weeks shopping, planning, decorating and making everything just right. Her son in law Terry swears she could not have possibly found a bigger tree. She always pretended NOT to enjoy the surprises that waited in her stocking.

 In the background of the Christmas photos taken over the year’s one could always see a pile, a shelf or a wall of books. Marlene was an avid reader. I bet there were at least 5000 books around there at any given time and those were the ones she kept, many passed in and out of her hands on their way to elsewhere.

In addition to reading, curling was her favorite sport. In addition to curling she helped the Czar curling club with fund raising, handling rentals, and keeping the books. She also had a long litany of community organizations for which she volunteer or assisted. She was on the Village of Czar council for 10 years and several of those years in capacity of mayor. As part of her duties she served on the MCHA Recreation Board and the Ambulance Board. She also was on the Agricultural Society Board for 3 years. Other involvements included Community Health Council, Economic Development and the Hall board.

Marlene also loved to garden. It was a toss up as to who enjoyed the shrubs and flowers more, her or the deer of Czar.

She loved to travel. A lot of trips were made with Sister Marge.

They seemed to have a mutual fascination with the sound of slot machines and any reason what so ever would suffice as an excuse to get out of dodge. It is cold, rainy, dismal, blue, sunny, seems like a good weekend, it’s January, It’s October, God I hate February (so depressing) or oh what the heck….any one or all of these would work and they would be off.

No one could ever pin Marlene as a slacker though. Some may have said she worked too hard and too long. The last 17 years were spent with Bio-Tech water and Human Resources and Development.  Even in the last few months despite family concerns, she carried on, as she always had, working and studying and attending meetings.

Marlene loved her family. She never missed an opportunity to brag about them. Even if there were some tough times in the growing of the family, it seems to have all ironed out.

She has every right to brag about all of her daughters, nieces and nephews, and grandchildren and they have all turned out to be a fine testament to the power of love and the bonds of family.

She spent a lot of time with her family at Czar lake, even though as it turns out, no one could ever convince her that the sea doo was an activity she aught to be involved in. She even passed on going to see the pelicans: just not motivating enough I guess.

But she could always be counted on to hold down the fort when everyone returned for a meal or for laughs or a visit. To this day I think she will have the eternal position of “stopping the speed freaks” on the lake road. In her younger days, it may have involved throwing something.  More recently it was mostly verbal onslaught….no less effective though from what I understand. She was pleased to see the renovations at the cabin this summer. She said it was the Marlene brown wing.

The measure of life does not come from all the things we have, all the things we can accumulate, it comes from all the love that can be found in our lives and in those around us. The love is the only thing we take with us, all the rest of it just stays behind.

Mother Teresa said:

 “God does not command that we do great things, only little things with great love.”

From what you have heard today, I am sure you can see this hold true for Auntie Marlene. She faced her fate, the way she faced life, with strength courage, dignity and the love of her family and friends around her. She will be dearly missed.

What I love about this video is that it really brings home the practice of Ahisma, non harming and non judgement. You can see when Susan first comes on stage that everyone has made a pre and rather harsh assumption about her ability. If they had the gong out on stage, someone may have gave her the boot before she even started singing, that is how palpable the tone was in the audience.

You never can be too sure. Be careful about the assumptions and judgements you make as you go through your day.  Next time you judge someone, think about this video and how it demonstrates that the treasure isn’t always obvious when it is hidden in the chest.

Go Susan Go!!

 I am not sure where this came from or who wrote it, but it is great. I give credit to the blessed soul that made this available for our enjoyment and contemplation.

                                                       The Law Of The Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in f ron t of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.  And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, “Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!”  This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the  Garbage Truck.’
 
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.  As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally.  Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the streets.
 
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so…love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.  Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!  Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

“You have the need and the right to spend part of your life caring for your soul. It is not easy…To be a soulful person means to go against all the pervasive, prove-yourself values of our culture and instead treasure what is unique and internal and valuable in yourself and your own personal evolution.”

—Jean Shinoda Bolen; psychiatrist, author

The world is filled with notable people. Some are famous and therefore notable. Others have achieved extraordinary feats, while others are quiet people who are notable in our own lives.

I got to thinking, who are some of the people who have been quietly notable in history. Who followed their own guidance and gently brought change to the world or to individuals along their path.

The Peace Pilgrim came to mind. What a remarkable history and mission.

Peace Pilgrim (July 18, 1908 – July 7, 1981) born Mildred Lisette Norman, was an American pacifist, vegetarian, and peace activist.

In 1952, she became the first woman to walk the entire length of the Appalachian Trail in one season. Starting on January 1, 1953, in Pasadena, California, she adopted the name “Peace Pilgrim” and walked across the United States for 28 years.

Her pilgrimage spanned almost three decades beginning January 1, 1953, in Pasadena, California. The Korean War was in progress. She continued walking for 28 years, spanning the American involvement in the Vietnam War and beyond. Peace Pilgrim was a frequent speaker at churches, universities, and local and national radio and television.

Expressing her ideas about peace, she referred to herself only as “Peace Pilgrim.” Peace Pilgrim’s only possessions were the clothes on her back and the few items she carried in the pockets of her blue tunic which read “Peace Pilgrim” on the front and “25,000 Miles on foot for peace” on the back.

She had no organizational backing, carried no money, and would not even ask for food or shelter. When she began her pilgrimage she had taken a vow to “remain a wanderer until mankind has learned the way of peace, walking until given shelter and fasting until given food.”

Peace Pilgrim was a strict vegetarian and did not use fur, feathers, leather or bone. Peace Pilgrim was an early advocate for tolerance for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. She did not believe in discrimination against any human being.

On July 7, 1981, while being driven to a speaking engagement near Knox, Indiana, Peace Pilgrim was killed in an automobile accident. At the time of her death, she was crossing the United States for the seventh time. After her death, she was cremated, and her ashes were interred in a family plot near Egg Harbor City, New Jersey.